DD – Delivery Day – is fast approaching. Consequently, I’ve been doing really important things, like putting down baby books and making sure I will look good while I push human life out into this world. Stop laughing. My Doula recommended Pretty Pushers disposable delivery gowns as a way to make yourself feel more comfortable. You know, before your skin – and you know what I’m talking about here – stretches so much is starts to burn like a motha’ (C’mon, tell me you at least smiled :). Oh wait, I’m getting an epidural. Well, it will be painful either way.
So, I have to share my latest birthing conversation. I had friends over last night for dinner as a thank-you for all the baby items they have given and lent us. They even showed up with their Snap-N-Go in lieu of wine. Hey, I’ll take it! My friend is a physician and pretty straight forward about how the human body functions with her 3.5-year-old daughter. I mean, the kid can name all the bones in the body using proper technical terminology. Plus, she does it to a song while jumping on her bed in her skeleton pajamas. You’ve got to love that. So, anyway, the other week she was in the bath and saw that, “Mom! MOOOM! There’s a hole in my vagina!” Her mother responded that, yes, all girls have that and it’s where the baby comes out of. So fast forward to last night. She’s feeling the baby kick and tells me that she wants to feel the head.
“Well,” I tell her, “the head is already down, so you can’t feel it anymore.”
“Oh. Well, where does the baby come out of?”
Knowing that her mom already told her, I reminded her that, “You know that hole down there…”
“Well, that’s where the baby comes out of.”
Pause. “That’s a big baby though.”
“You’re telling me, kid, you’re telling me.”